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CG

   Now we’re living
somewhere else
   We keep opinions to ourselves

   But still we seek a sneaky peek at heaven
  
When the working week defeats us
   If you think growing up is tough
  
Then you’ve just not grown enough, baby

  -- Barenaked Ladies, Baby Seat

I opened the bathroom door and paused, not wanting to go back downstairs yet, to be submerged in all that babble of adult chitchat going on down there. I turned left instead, stepping into my mother’s bedroom to see myself in her dresser mirror. I could look right into it now, I noted with a nod; no more standing on tiptoe.

A fine layer of dust always powdered the back of the counter and the top of the mirror. A hairline crack ran down the far side of the glass, and you could see where it was just silver and not a mirror anymore. Several long strands of necklaces were draped over that side. I pursed my lips, wondering about my pale little face, the big question: whether I would be beautiful, or even pretty, when I grew up. Right now the answer was no, but I checked every day just in case. I reached up to touch the silver comb, the silver brush, the silver box where my mother kept her earrings . . . I scooted up onto the creaky wooden chair there and gazed upon the treasures. One day, all this would be mine! Although how I would get to that point was a complete mystery.

Grown-up women wear make-up. I touched several little bottles and jars that held my mother’s face, as she said it was. But the green perfume bottle was the best. I turned it to catch some light from the hall, and watched how tiny sparkles from the fancy glass played across the mirror. I unscrewed the lid and smelled it, my favourite by far. Of course I wasn’t supposed to open it. I tipped it to get some on my finger, and an emerald drop fell and shivered on the table. As it twinkled, I heard my mother’s firm footstep at the bottom of the stairs and crookedly replaced the lid – wiping the drop up with my sleeve – radiating heavenly guilt to all senses.

CG

So very, very guilty.

   the tide is on the turn
  it's time to haul the anchor up and leave the land astern
  we'll be gone before the dawn returns
  like voices on the wind

  -- Al Stewart, Lord Grenville

We read that sleep is like a journey. Along the way, we pass through physical stages that scientists tell us about, different kinds of rest that serve our various needs of body and mind. In the morning, we arrive, we hope, in a good state to benefit from another day. But we also travel in our dreams. We don’t remember many dreams, but from what we do, it’s plain that we involve ourselves in a kaleidoscope of images, emotions, actions and words conjured up from our memories and fancies. Again and again, we are dashed on the rocks of our inner lee shores, unable to steer clear or to put any distance between ourselves and our experiences there.

I remember dreams quite often upon awakening, but they mostly go away after I’ve been up for a few minutes. If I quickly explain or write them, I can put a version of them into long-term memory, but even then, I know that details are lost. I impose a narrative where one may not have existed; pattern-maker, I tidy up. I cannot say that forgetting troubles me too much. I put no stock in superstitious or magical views of dreams. Then again, I do think they can help you understand your own emotions and state of mind. After all, they are created by you, not brought to you by some mythical external force.

Nowadays, there are so many new findings about how sleeps works, both in humans and in animals (e.g., birds). There are sophisticated new products designed to help you analyze your own sleep. But we still know so little about consciousness and how thoughts arise in our brains. Sleeping and dreaming will retain their essential aura of mystery for some time to come, despite all our genius. I think I'm glad about that.

*chortle*

CG

The replica Star Trek chair from my previous entry... finished and in my parents' living room... occupied by my 90-year-old mother-in-law, Violet. She couldn't stop laughing!

My brother and father have made a full-scale replica of Captain Kirk's chair from the original Star Trek series, complete with computerized sounds, toggle switches, computer "discs" and a funny "kill Finney" button (if you know what I mean, you're a real Trekker).

My brother is also a Dr. Who fan. So inevitably, the two worlds collided. Enjoy the mind-bending result!

I thought I'd take a moment to mention a free online service that is really helping me to get healthier: SparkPeople.

SparkPeople provides much the same services as Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig -- but it's free of charge. You can keep track of nutrition and fitness goals, talk to other people with similar goals and challenges, learn new recipes or exercises, and generally change your life around. As much as you put into it, you can get even more out of it. There aren't any weird gimmicks or diets, either.

It was all started by a guy named Chris Downie, who got a windfall when he sold his online company to eBay a few years ago. He decided he'd like to help people, and SparkPeople is the result. That's why it's free.

Chris just published a book that distills all the great advice and strategies that are being used on his site. It also features many real SparkPeople members who've lost weight and begun to live healthier lives because of his site. (I love before and after pictures, they are so inspiring.)

Anyway, they are running a contest where members try to encourage family and friends to download a free chapter of The Spark. If you'd like to help and are curious about the book, simply go to this page on their site  and click the button to download your free chapter.

I know I'm not on Xanga as much as I should be. I've been pretty busy this last few months. But I keep thinking of you all, and I hope to be more active soon. Cheers and Happy New Year to all you great Xangans!

CG

I have changed career paths -- I was a freelance editor for many years, and now I'm studying to be a travel agent. I'm taking a six-month, full-time program at a tiny private travel college run by a very knowledgeable woman who can tell the most interesting, sometimes hair-raising travel stories.

Although I feel I haven't learned much yet, I am about three-quarters of the way through the course already. There was a huge geography lesson, of course, and lots of information about fares and ticketing, travel insurance, and the different kinds of jobs out there in the huge tourism industry. I know what a "trade discount" is (yay!) and how much it costs to open your own travel agency (whoa!). I have also learned how travellers are pretty well protected by TICO here in Ontario, so that if anyone, anywhere in the world, buys their travel services from a TICO-registered travel agent, they will be covered up to $5,000 for undelivered travel services in the event that a supplier (e.g., a tour operator) goes bankrupt. Pretty cool.

So my head is exploding at the moment. I have not got much time to write or reflect, and I have no idea where I'll end up after I've got my diploma, but I'm excited to be doing something new. I love to travel myself, which is what convinces me that I could encourage others in their plans to do so.

If you find yourself in a rut -- try something new!

And so does the talented person who created this video.