November 2, 2006

  • Uncle Bob

    Hi everybody! I hope your week has gone smoothly.

    On Wednesday, I did indeed hand in installment #1 of my four-part
    thesis. In some ways it is not complete, but since this is a work in
    progress, I will be able to continue to expand and adapt it until my
    final due date in April. So it's all good, and the professor seems to
    think I have done well, which is just a great feeling.

    Meanwhile, does anybody know of any good online examples or resources
    about how to apply to grad school? Some of the application questions
    seem answerable only by extratemporal, omniscient demi-gods. Are any
    mortals ever accepted into MA programs?

    My mom turned 65 this week, and I have a cousin who will be 21 next
    week. So a giant family bash is happening on Saturday. Well, giant for
    us -- we are not a huge family. About 20 people! My Uncle Bob will be
    there. He's actually a great-uncle (my mom's uncle), and I adore him.
    For one thing, he has a very distinctive working-class English accent.
    Reminds me a bit of Ben Wicks.

    OMG. I have the funniest story to tell about me and my Uncle Bob! I
    will tell it here, and you will have to say if it comes across onscreen
    -- it is a great story to tell in person.

    In my early twenties, I did quite a bit of temporary secretarial work
    in downtown Toronto office towers. I was in demand because I was
    reasonably intelligent, a good typist, and I loved working on those
    newfangled computers that the regular secretaries were scared to death
    of. (They were kinda monstrous back in those days! The computers, I
    mean! LOL)

    One day I was working in the outer office of a law firm on University
    Avenue, on one of the upper floors of a tallish building. I was typing
    away like a mad fiend, when suddenly, behind me, I heard someone
    speaking with a very distinctive working-class English accent. Reminded
    me a bit of Ben Wicks! OMG. I shot around in my chair and sang out
    "UNCLE BOB!" in the my most tickled-pink voice.

    The busy, crowded room fell abruptly silent, and people scuttled here
    and there, mostly away from me. I thought nothing of that at the time.
    I rushed right over and expressed my surprise, since I had had no idea
    that my very own great-uncle was the Director of Operations for this
    big downtown tower. He was just as delighted to see me, and we promptly
    made a lunch date.

    After my uncle had disappeared into an elevator, people began to ghost
    back into the area from all the offices around, where they had been
    whispering and conferring. I was approached with deep suspicion
    bordering on awe. "Are you REALLY Mr. Hogarth's niece?" demanded my
    supervisor. I nodded and explained the relationship happily.

    Turns out, you see... that everybody thought of my uncle as "Uncle
    Bob," cuz he looks like an "Uncle Bob," and constantly referred to him
    as "Uncle Bob," but only privately amongst themselves, and nobody would
    ever have DREAMED of calling him "Uncle Bob" to his respectable and
    intimidating face, and they were worried that I had called him "Uncle
    Bob" the way they called him"Uncle Bob" and that therefore the jig was
    up and they were all in BIG TROUBLE!
     
    Bwahahaaaaa! How I laughed when I saw all their cute li'l worried faces!

    I told them it was okay and their secret was safe with me. After all, Bob's my uncle!

    Okay, that's my fun for the evening. Back to work!

    CG

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