June 16, 2006
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The departure of a friend
I spent yesterday in Toronto helping a great friend, Deb, pack up her
family’s belongings. She is a stream biologist, and on July 1, she is
driving down to live in Kansas for the next two years to do some
post-doctoral work.It’ll surely be a big change for her. She’s vegetarian, for instance,
and she mentioned with relief her discovery of the right kind of
grocery store in her new town. She’s used to living in a big city, but
I know that she is ready to enjoy the relative peace and quiet of a
smaller place.
I’m going to miss the whole family so much. Her husband is one of my
oldest friends – I actually introduced the two of them to each other,
now that I think of it, about 20 years ago today! She was only 16 then,
but she hasn’t changed much. She’s one of those lucky women who weather
well despite two small children and the challenges of being both a mom
and an academic career person. And since I can have no kids of my own,
I’m an honorary auntie to her sweet little boy and girl.Nowadays there are great new ways to keep in touch. And in fact, maybe
Dave and I will make the two-day drive down there to visit them at some
point. Hmm, perhaps that could be combined with a trip to Chicago, one
of my favourite cities.It seems that a whole chapter of my life will close when these people
drive away, but I’m glad Deb is taking this step to continue her
career. That’s what I’ll try to focus on. They’ve only rented out their
house here in Toronto… I could always dream that they might return one
day. It doesn’t seem too likely though, since there’s not a lot of work
for stream biologists around here!
Edit:
Oh yes, her husband is certainly supportive! He is a technical writer,
but since she is the “Dr.” in the house, it’s plain that her career is
very important. So many years invested in getting a doctorate should
not be allowed to get stale and go to waste! So he’s going to see if he
can continue freelance for the company he now works for, or barring
that, if he can get some contract or freelance work in Kansas. It
matters much less where you physically are, these days, for some kinds
of work anyway.
Later Edit:
I’ve been googled a lot today, and it’s kinda funny. I’ve gotten hits
based on “Keanu Reeves buys bungalow,” “pictures of goddesses” (?!),
and part of a Leonardo da Vinci quote I used once. Have you been googled today?
Comments (28)
May they find as much prosperity in the job world as they obvioulsy have in the world of friendship with you!
It’s hard when a friend leaves but aren’t we so lucky to have email!
Sounds like she’s in for a bit of culture shock! I’m not sure that I could make it in Kansas!
It sounds like her hubby must be very supportive. How nice!
RYC: I don’t think that I mentioned that I was pleased with the ground chicken substitution. Easier and cheaper and I liked the texture of the ground meat better than cut up chicken. Oh, I was disappointed when I cut up the avocado to find it mostly black inside. I ended up tossing the whole thing.
there’s a few xangan friends who are from Kansas and are very cool- perhaps they’ll be nearby- aww…it’s hard to let go of good friends, isn’t it? At least you now have a reason to visit!
Well, maybe if you go through Chicago we could meet up, although it’s 2 hours from here…. LOL
a happy but sad occasion … good luck to them … & as you said — there are many ways to keep in touch … have a wonderful weekend…
How bittersweet. You sound like a very good friend to them. I am sure that you will all find ways to stay close and see each other. I think it’s very cool that you were their matchmaker. How could they ever forget you and not hold you dear to their hearts?!
The great part is that you’re only an email away. Or a chat. And two years will go by so fast.
I’m rather impressed with her husband. I know way too many men down here that would just say, “oh well, too bad. I’m not giving up MY job for your womanly pursuits.” She’s got herself a great support system in that Renaissance man of hers. And sounds like they appreciate each other very well.
I add my wishes of good winds and good fortunes. We’ll take good care of ‘em down here for you, darlin’.
RYC–I know what you mean. To be honest, I’m not all that sure why Lennon’s murder hit me so hard. It wasn’t like I was that big a fan of his solo career. But it did hit…hard and painful.
I bet she will miss you so very much, since I can tell you are a very special, caring, and unique friend!
It is hard to let go of long time friends but you can visit and since everyone now days has a cell or free long distance you can call often, Judi
RYC: Oh I will…just not yet.
I’m sorry your friend is moving. For me it’s always been hard to maintain long distance friendships. I hope that isn’t the case for you. Have a great weekend!
They sound like wonderful friends. I know you will miss them, but now you have an excuse to go and visit.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Tricia
I am sure you will miss them…but it is possible to stay close and keep in touch, and visit! It’s good to have friends like that, whom you can pick up with as if no time has passed. I am thankful for those kind of friends!
RYN: No, thanks, for being here, and having a site for me stop, and read.
*counts on fingers* Eight…? Days until we’re in Chicago! Woohoo!!
That’s always a bummer.
Sorry your friend’s leaving.
Sorry about your friend leaving that is sad. Did you say Kansas *perks up* Hey I’m in Kansas. Where in Kansas is she going? And hey it’s not that bad here we don’t all live on farms and Dorothy really never lived here at all. TTFN
Oh..(trailing off) I am so sorry! I know this situation. I have been living it.
It’s been nearly 4 years now, and though it was painful, I think we (my friend and I) have come to the point that it doesn’t matter if we are physically together or not. (deep down, that is…I’d still love to see her any old day!) The deeper connection underneath all that is the essence of our friendship..I guess the cliche is that we are together “in spirit”. But it took time to stop resisting reality as it is, before we could ((really)) realize and deeply feel that.
I hope that may be helpful to you in living day to day with your beloved family-friends, in your new distance-seperation life. The computer and the telephone will be dearly beloved tools, that’s for sure. (-:
ANd….”Pop Art”!!!!!! That;s it!!! Oh phooey! (I already finished the shirt!) But that is so good, I ((have)) to put it on the shirt somewheres… thanks!!!! (-:
RYN: Manhattan is like 2 1/2 hours from where I’m at but it is pretty and close to Kansas City, MO which has a lot to do so she should be good. Have a good one!!!
Just kinda stumbling through, I notice you comment on alot of the same blogs I do, so I thought I’d give you a looksie. So far I liked what I’ve read, so perhaps I’ll stumble my way through here again.
Oh I find the door close espression to be so final…..and you know it’s not
….besides when one does close there are 3-4 new one’s ready to open up 
Besides my “10 year old boy likes to wear dresses,” searcher, I have also had today:
“children ‘chipped tooth’ “
“tragic story of taylor hicks”
“my son needs braces”
It’s great to have a friend like that……I know you will miss her!……….google, Omigosh yes,…………today was Ty Pennington……….(I put him on my secret crush list)……….and a couple of months back, I had typed the word coffee on one page and enema on another…………then I got hit after hit for Coffee enema’s……and THAN it was Nude women coffee enema’s!!!!!!!! it drove me crazy! it was like 20 a day!…….(later, xangan drowzdragon, who had cancer, informed me that there is such a thing as coffee enema’s for alternative cancer treatments!)
I am sorry your friend is moving. I am sure you will miss her and her family. I have never done the google thing, except for googling myself once. I could be a famous dead film producer or and convicted murderer….take your pick!!!
blessings,
Chris
I wasn’t googled today but I have been. Recently when I talked about a local high school student who was suspended for being critical of the policies of his school, I was googled by people in most of the different US states and from countries all over the world. It was amazing.
I have been googled for weird stuff but offhand I can’t think of any of them.
I don’t think I’ve been googled today. I don’t think that happens to me much. Now it will probably happen every day, LOL. I hope you get to see your friend often while she’s gone. I hope she comes back after the 2 years, but like you said there aren’t many jobs in her field here. That’s for sure.
I can’t imagine that anyone would want to Google me, lol. I’m sorry your friend is leaving, but you were so nice to help her family get ready to go. I’m in Kansas – where will your friend be living?
I’m sure I sounded “bitchy” in my post. My sister has not done one thing for my mom since her illness became obvious. Hearing the BS about it being “hard” for her to see mom was just a bit much today!
I hope your BBQ goes well tomorrow! That’s a lot of work!
Kathi
Ahhh… look at it this way…. You have another destination to visit when the travel bug bites!! I miss all my close friends… my closest lives a whopping 1500 kilometers away. *sigh*… ahhhhh I need to go visit!!
Ryc: The parrot os a wild bird, rather rare to get so tame though. I will post more pics as I go, spent the rainy afternoon yesterday going through old pics and scanning them in… You will enjoy, I am sure.
Peace, and feathered friends that stay free… Denny
Yep, I have been googled today! lol
I’ve been where you are and it’s tough. Tough to see a good friend leave, but it is true that there are many ways of keeping in touch. Possibly my very best friend and I keep in touch via AIM. We have a “set time & day” (usually Saturday mornings early) that we both sign on. I don’t see her very often (I saw her about a year ago), but we chat as though we were just catching up on the phone. I would think it would be extremely hard, however, to move so far away from home. I hope things go well for her and the adjustment is an easy one. Take care and have a great weekend!